Oh no, we'd be sucked into his trap! I know how you feel and how difficult it is. Danny: [shouting at his cat] Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Withnail: [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! Marwood: I didn't call you inhumane. Withnail: Withnail: It's obsessed with its gut. "Curse of the Superman. Withnail: Dosed 'em. I must be ill. Withnail: Right, you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up. I happen to be the proprietor. Marwood: Trying for even more advantage. Monty: Here hare here! Plot - Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. [Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood], [Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce]. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? What have you done to them? . you little traitors. Danny: Withnail: Monty: Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? It's society's crime, not ours. He's a madman. Withnail: Of course he's the fucking farmer! The man was fined $10,000 and was ordered to pay $1,843 in restitution to Maine. Let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Withnail: You've got soup. Monty: Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. The paragon of animals. It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. Withnail: Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. Sherry? I'll be sprouting bloody feelers soon. My brain's capsizing, I've gotta unfuck my brain! grant . Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Clip from Withnail & I Rest in happy peace Richard Griffiths ! Marwood: [eating chips while taking a bath] Ive got your saveloy. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. This doesn't go down at all well. Now, look, you. Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. Marwood: This is ridiculous. My thumbs have gone weird! I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. Come on, old boy. [voiceover] Monty, Monty! Withnail: Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix doesn't mean anything! Now, come along, I'm going to teach you how to peel a potato. I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street. Marwood: Withnail:I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! 'He used to get in bad tempers and act up,' said his wife. Tell him if you must, I no longer care. You won't keep us anywhere. Why don't I get any soup? We've gone on holiday by mistake. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. I think you've been punished enough. You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. Dealt with them? These eels are for my pot. [pulling back the lace curtain] What a piece of work is a man! We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in. But I never really had it in my blood, and that's what's so essential, isn't it, theatrical zeal in the veins. [about Danny] At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. Marwood: In this case, it most certainly would not. Uncle Monty: Go with it. Monty: [Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you. [Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. I'm gonna be a sta-a-a-a-ar! Withnail: Here hare here!' Add spice to it. Policeman 1: This page was last edited on 1 November 2022, at 17:35. An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door]. Hairs are your aerials. Withnail: Hold on, don't let your imagination run away with you Marwood: Imagination! Sort: Relevant Newest # withnail and i # withnail and i # game of thrones cast # drunks # multimillionaires # gotcha # dave chappelle # i will # gotcha bitch Quotes About Cool Kid (57 Quotes) www.quotemaster.org. Withnail: Beastly, ungrateful little swine! Withnail: Marwood: Withnail: These aren't mine, they belong to him. Withnail: The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news! The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Them pheasants are for his pot. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane. Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! Cooking's one of the natural instincts. You beastly little parasite, how dare you! I happened to be looking for a suit for the Coalman two weeks ago. How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?! Will we never be set free? Poacher. You got to throttle him. There can be no true beauty without decay. Withnail: And the Coalman looks at him and says, "Do you think you look normal, Your Honour?" [smiling] Monty: Give me a downer, Danny. A coward you are, Withnail, an expert on bulls you are not! [reading graffiti] Withnail: I've told you why. Withnail: We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. If you have any question or suggestion then just comment below or contact us. Withnail: Well neither have I. I was gonna cook onions. Withnail: How should I possibly know what we should do? Withnail: (Ranting on a mountain) Bastards! Do you like to experience all facets of life? Withnail & I is in my personal Top 5 movies of all time for re-watchablity and scathing dialogue. Look at this - accident blackspot? Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. You're not in the same boat. What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that., Flowers are essentially tarts. "I'm going to pull your head off." That's a very good idea. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. What should we do? We'll keep them here til they arrive. Withnail: Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! Marwood: I don't know what's in here. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news. Course you have, you're the poacher. And it isn't his fault he cannot love you any more than it's mine that I adore you. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave oerhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry - neither did they. I don't care where you come from! Reflecting these times. Withnail: I fail to see my familys of any interest to you. And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. We're doing a feature for Country Life. You got a rush. Marwood: [Contemplating how to kill a chicken for supper] It's got dreadful beady eyes, they stare at you. Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. Jake: Something's got to be done. I don't consciously offend big men like this. Jesus Christ! [holding up a pill] Withnail: Half an hour? Throw yourself into the road, darling! I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. How dare you! Withnail: I might fetch you up a rabbit. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head! How dare you! You need working on, boy! [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. Easily He's lent us his cottage. [holding umbrella in rain] Withnail : Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! Withnail: [whispering] He's going into your room. The cottage. Danny: Where did you school? The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. Surrounded by trees and nature one feels a *glorious* stirring on the senses, a rejection of *poisonous* inhibition, and a *fecund* motion of the soul. Then they must be delighted with your career. It sent chills up and down my spine when Keith quotes Prabhupada when he said . Oh dear, no, no, no, I'd be sucked into his trap. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. I ain't got no pheasants, ain't got no birds. If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. Withnail: Web. And indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory. God fulfils himself in many ways. Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. Danny: I really don't want you to. Withnail & I (1987) clip with quote "Here hare, here." Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. We want them here and we want them now! That's what you say. Thought I was going for a minute. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news! "Withnail and I Quotes." We're incompatible. I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Withnail: Two quid? Withnail: You've got soup. Withnail: Stop saying that! I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. All right, get hold of it. [leaning out the car window] Danny's here. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. Monty: [to the cat] you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. Withnail: Withnail: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! We worked out it would be handy karma for him to get hold of a suit but he's a very low temperature spade, the Coalman. Withnail: How infinite in faculties! This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors! Withnail: Rejuvenate! Monty: Now, come along, Im going to teach you how to peel a potato., I must have some booze. [he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. There must and shall be aspirin! You lose, you gain. Marwood: We shall buy this place and fire you immediately. We mean no harm! He told me about your arrest in the Tottenham Court Road. It's you he wants. Im in a park and Im practically dead. I'm not going to understudy anybody. Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. Change down, man. [wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway] I'm preparing myself to forgive you. Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! And we want them here, and we want them now! Marwood: Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Best kill it quick before it tries to make friends with us. Marwood: Offer him yourself. Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. Withnail: I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Danny: Listen, we're bona fide. But now he's stopped he's much better in our sex life and in our general life." Withnail: I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! Danny: Danny: Uncle Monty: Oh! Discover the priceless words that sparkle and shine here. [seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. It's like a bloody rugby ball now, it will die, it will die! Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Withnail: I have just finished fighting a naked man! Danny: Marwood: All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Imagine the size of his balls. Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Marwood: *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? The bastard's about to run at me! [fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons] You're not leaving me in here alone. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. [to Marwood] Calm down. Tea Shop Proprietor: ""Here. Marwood: Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Armed with this splendid script, Richard E. Grant executes a tour de force as a relentlessly angry-at-the-world unemployed actor and raging alcoholic. One of us has got to stay on guard. Danny's a genius. Uncle Monty: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane.". Look here, my cousin's a QC! Don't threaten me with a dead fish! But no man's put me down yet. Withnail: There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this f***ing mountainside! Irishman: Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. When they take a holiday "by mistake" at the country house of Withnail's flamboyantly gay uncle, Monty, they encounter the unpleasant side of the . Marwood: Here, I dont want it. Danny: quotes duty call warfare modern war. Quotes and one-liners: . It has voodoo qualities. He'd like a bit of pleading. You'll have to find us first. Danny: A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us. Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. Tanks. I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. It'll pass. Marwood: [pointing an eel at him] They are flat broke, so they move to the house of Withnail's uncle in the countryside. It's the only solution to this intense cold. extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. What are we supposed to do with that? Withnail: You want me to call what's-his-name and ask him about his house? Web. Find your neutral space. General: I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. It's trying to get itself in with you. Withnail: Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie]. So, he looks at the Coalman and says "What's all this? He won't gore you. What happened to my agent? [Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar]. Withnail: [picking up an apron] Withnail: Ponce! Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. A coward you are, Withnail! Of course you are! [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] Oh, but how dreadful. Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Marwood: For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author's best ideas. Withnail: I'm not gonna understudy anybody. They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . Danny: I've never met him. Withnail: Your sensitivity overwhelms me. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Time change. We've got to get some booze. Oh, don't tell me you're not aware of it, I know what you're up to and so do you. Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. A little before your time. The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . My heart's beating like a fucked clock! This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! I wondered if you could sell us some food. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. Withnail: It's ridiculous. Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! It will pass. She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! Marwood: No you can't, listen to me, listen to me! Stand aside! Peter Marwood (I): We want the finest wines available to humanity! [Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet], Withnail: You hold it down, I'll strangle it. No fridges, no televisions, no phones! I'm not having this shag-sack insulting me! There is, you'll agree, a certain 'je ne sais quoi' oh so very special about a firm, young carrot. We've just run out of wine. That's what I want to know! Clearly a myth. That is an unfortunate political decision. Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness! Danny: Marwood: Suits me. Withnail: He can eat his ****ing radish. And you'd be marvellous. How you feel. You merely imagined it. What happened to your cigar commercial? I tell you, I've a f*** sight more talent than half the rubbish that gets on television. This doll is extremely dangerous. Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. It'll happen. I mean look at us! Oh, look at this little bastard. Hare. I'm good-looking. An expert on bulls you are not! We want the finest wines available to humanity. Marwood: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Offer him yourself. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Just run at it! Marwood: Withnail: Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day And for once I'm inclined to believe that Withnail is right We are indeed, drifting into the arena of the unwell making an enemy of our own future What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that. Who is the huge spade in the bath? No, nor woman neither nor woman neither. Monty: Little tarts, they love it! Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! I'll show the lot of you! Withnail: Good old Jake. is the clip Thanks! Isaac Parkin: "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Then it was a rodent. Thanks! Tea Shop Proprietor: I feel like a pig shat in my head. Withnail: Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. This pill's valued at two quid. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. No more than you have. It used to give him bad tempers and act up said his wife. [narrating over scene] These aren't accidents! Easy for you to say, luvvie, you've had an audition. The beauty of the world! It has felt like listening to a symphony and here comes the crescendo. Marwood: quotes military heroes famous quotesgram. Very, very foolish words, man. The fuel and wood situation. Jake: Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). [noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes] [approaching the pub] A pair of quadruple whiskies and another pair of pints, please. I imagine they're talking to each other. Oh, Oxford Marwood: Because I want to walk you to the station. It's the only solution to this intense cold. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. Withnail: Oh, my boys, my boys, we're at the end of an age. Look at us! I'm good looking. I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of f***ing nowhere without aspirins? You haven't got a chance! We want to get in there, don't we? Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. General: Because I don't advise it. you little traitors. Black puddings are no good to us. Let him get his drugs out. Tea Shop Proprietor: Withnail: Balls, I'll swallow it and run a mile! 2023. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly! Withnail: Withnail: How can it be so cold in here? That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Marwood: Withnail: I have a heart condition. Danny: One of my favourite movies. Withnail: Withnail: Sinew in nicotine base. This dreadful little Israelite. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! Listen, I think you should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us. Well, lick 10 percent of the arses for me, then! Waitress: Especially that. Withnail: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. It's the only solution to this intense cold. The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he's convinced there's something between them. Marwood: My heart's beating like a f***ed clock! In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Right, now we're going to have to approach this scientifically. It'll happen. How infinite in faculties! Withnail: Have another look in that shed. I've some extremely distressing news. Imagine the size of his balls. The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it. [he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic]. Rejuvenate? Get that damned little swine out of here! [voiceover] Marwood: Well, I don't know. Dont be ridiculous. "Here. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! Marwood: Marwood: Withnail: Marwood: No we're not, we're here. Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Withnail: Weve gone on holiday by mistake. Law rather appeals to me actually. I had to come. Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. Precisely the reason I'm smoking it. [narrating over scene] Withnail: You can use the left-hand menu to view some of the most popular quotes from the main Withnail and I characters . They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworths, man. Withnail: Withnail: You've got a rush. No, no, no, dear boy, you must leave, you must leave. I demand to have some booze! You wouldn't spike me, you're too mean. I can't take aspirins without a drink. This boy's been out there frozen to the marrow and you just sit in here drinking. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. How dare you. I don't consciously offend big men like this. Start shouting. Black puddings are no good to us. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: What's it got to do with you? Marwood: He's right, Withnail, look at him! I invented it in Camberwell, and it looks like a carrot. Ive absolutely no interest in yours. An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door, she still doesn't answer. Well, I'd hardly say that. DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE", shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement, Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. The purveyor of rare herbs and proscribed chemicals is back. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! [Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff] Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain]. Marwood: Suits me. So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). This is me naked in a corner! It's trying to get itself in with you, it's trying for even more advantage! Withnail: Burnt! ", Oh! We can't go on like this. I must be ill. Monty: Then you gotta change its drawers for it. Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. Marwood: Marwood: Give me a downer, Danny. Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Have you met Jake? [in a telephone box, speaking to an operator] [points a fencing sword at Marwood face] I assure you I'm not, officer. Listen to me, listen to me! Withnail: You've had an audition. His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! Withnail: Marwood: (Voice-over) Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. Marwood: Isaac Parkin: Withnail: [holding him back] Then all at once those frozen hours melt out through the nervous system and seep out the pores. So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. Look at Geoff Woade. What happened to my cigar commercial? What are you doing up here, then? Marwood: Withnail: This was more like a long white hat. We don't want a rabbit, we want a pheasant. Have you had any training in the martial arts? Hello? The movie, which ta. Marwood: If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. Marwood: [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] And how dare you tell him I love you?! Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. Marwood stands there, petrified, the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting, he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. Just you wait! There are are things in there; there's a teabag growing! Withnail: (Paraphrasing Hamlet) I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors. Would you like a drink? Monty: Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. Withnail: I assure I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly, I've only had a few light ales. Marwood: Irishman: Tactical necessity. [to Marwood] We've got to get some booze. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road!
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